Old, fat and ugly. Experienced, well built, lots of character. Been around, ate a lot, well worn. Your choice if you get to know me. My choice depends on my mood.
At 64, we may think I am past my prime, maybe on my way out – certainly seems that way to me on some days. But I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Sometimes it depresses me to think that all those moments will soon be lost like tears in rain. One of the things I saw and enjoyed was Bladerunner.
And some other stuff: I grew up in Ontario, Canada. Learned to appreciate Nature’s beauties and bounties. The most glorious autumn colours, Freshwater fish like rainbow trout, smallmouth bass, pickerel fought bravely before surrendering to my frying pan. Beaver, moose, caribou, whitetail deer, bobcat, fox, bear, and an unforgettable wolf populated my wandering in the pristine forests. Oh lord, I miss Canada. And in Canada I developed love of history, yearning for adventure, a penchant for solitude. I enjoyed skiing, skating, swimming, camping and bushcraft, climbing, cycling and sailing. And in my 25th year I gave it all up.
Moving to London – attracted by parties and nightlife, places I had only read about, relatives never before met, Carnaby Street. But staying on because I found good jobs and a man I loved and who I thought loved me. Settling down to further education and settling further down to desk jobs behind computers and vegging there for thirty years before retiring.
On my 60th birthday my leaving speech to erstwhile colleagues was “Goodbye”. And a day later we were in Turkey. It’s a lovely village, a sweet little house with a lush garden, kind but incomprehensible neighbours and a very few good friends.
And now my husband has found someone new and exotic so I must either allow my life to fall apart, or find new adventures. I dream of ending my days on a small yacht after exploring the Med and perhaps much further. But I also dream of finding a cabin in Canada’s wilderness. I’m trying to tell myself that I face a future where life may become exciting again. But I am scared.